The Beginning
Fast forward a little bit & before you know it we were talking marriage and babies. We always said we would be happy with whatever comes first. I was happy with not being married while trying to have a child. I was ok not being married when our baby was to be born. I wasn't raised that way & I'm pretty sure he wasn't either.
My mom & dad use to lecture us kids about doing the right thing by waiting. Wait until you graduate college, start your career, THEN get married, and last but not least, THEN have children. My mom was a teen mother & strived to give us the best of everything and she did just that. The best of everything. However, we all know that one child feels the need to rebel against anything and everything their parents have to say. That would be me.
I had it all justified in my head though of why it was just fine not to listen to Mom.... A majority of my friends were either teen moms or married right out of high school because they found out they were pregnant. Needless to say, about 80% of those marriages did not work and ended in divorces that could have all been prevented had they just bucked up and handled their business instead of rushing off to get married. Marriage is not something you just play around with. Naturally, I am an over thinker. I believed that something had to have changed after the baby came aboard. All of a sudden the couple was no longer compatible. All at once you don't know each other anymore & the person you thought you knew changes over night.
In other words, I basically thought that having a baby before getting married was just fine because everything changes after having a baby. Why not have a baby & if things stay the same with the person you are with, then feel free to get married. Children change the dynamic to your relationship. It changes the way you connect with each other, the way you communicate with each other, and it definitely changes the way a couple works together as a team to co-parent the little life you have been blessed to have made. If at the end of the day it's better to be apart and co-parent succesfully than to go through a messy divorce, scar your child, and pay a shit ton of money for something that could have just been prevented.
Now either I have just offended you or I am about to.
Let me just say...... I am not telling you what is right for you. I am not saying that I judge those who get married soon after finding out they're pregnant. I am not judging for those of you who get pregnant and don't marry the father of your child. I am not judging anyone for getting married because they were pregnant and then quickly divorcing due to the whole relationship going to hell in a fucking purple handbasket that you personally wove with your own two hands. I am definitely not judging anyone for getting marriend and then having children. With what I am about to say, does not mean that I think EVERYONE should get married and then have children.
I am happy that even though our struggle with infertility kept us without a child for right now; I am proud that we got married first, June 29, 2013. I have grown a lot within just a year of us getting married. I have had the ability to get to know my partner in a way that I never thought I could know someone else. We have had the chance to enjoy being married for just a little bit without having restrictions other than work.This has not been all unicorns shitting rainbows and farting butterflies. Even with that said, we weren't suppose to have work as an only restriction during this first year of marriage.
We had been trying for a baby for a while before we got married. As soon as we got married & I was double covered for insurance, we started our journey of trying to become pregnant with medical help. I began seeing a wonderful doctor. I won't give out his whole name, so we'll call him Dr. K.
By the end of July 2013, we found a Dr. K & awaited our first appt. Unfortunately Giovanni was called to travel, so he was unable to attend our first meeting. Don't worry your pretty little mind. I brought my best friend & sister from another mister, Taysia. We giggled like teenagers the whole night before & my appointment & even joked about bringing a turkey baster to ask him why we weren't getting pregnant. Needless to say, Dr. K. was a fucking little genious. He listened to my concerns & within 30 minutes I had an appointment for an HSG test & an RX for Clomid in my hands. For those of you who have ever been in my shoes... You know those pieces of paper in your hand feel like the last fucking golden ticket to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory....
(HSG test- A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is an X-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterusand fallopian tubes and the area around them. It often is done for women who are having a hard time becoming pregnant (infertile). Thank you WebMD)
It's getting late.... Baby Cabrera #1 will have to debut tomorrow night.
Love & Light,
Jessica
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