Anniversary.
Well.... I haven't written in a while..Sorry!!!! Giovanni and I celebrated our first anniversary on June 29, 2014, so I have had a lot going on with being out of state and then adjusting back to work. Everything went smoothly though & tonight I just took my first dose of Clomid.
Just an FYI.... I know I haven't finished exactly where I left off... again as the last post stated; I do have a hard time finishing things & I going to blame it on my self diagnosis of ADD.
In celebration of our first anniversary, I'd like to share a picture of my uber handsome husband that I took of him while we were in San Francisco on our honeymoon. Nothing like a sexy Filipino boy to get the engine going.......
In other news... I want to go back to September 22, 2013 where I was having my ectopic. I cannot for the life of me remember whether I explained what an extopic pregnancy is, but for those of you who are just starting this ttc (trying to conceive) journey, I will explain.... In a totally esy way of explaining it, the egg implants into the fallopian tube instead of the uterus. This can be life threatening as the fallopian tube can explode and cause internally bleeding that can be fatal.
I have never in my life felt so empty. I have never in my life wanted to die. I laid in bed for days doing nothing, but crying. I ignored my family, phone calls, co-workers, you name it and I had no part of it. I couldn't have a conversation with Giovanni without yelling at him or just crying. Apparently this amount of hurt and confusion is normal when a couple goes through losing a child.
Let me make one thing clear. We all don't have to have the same beliefs. I do feel as though I lost a CHILD. No one in this entire world will ever be able to tell me that it doesnt count because it was an ectopic pregnancy. No one in this entire world will ever be able to tell me that it wasn't a baby because it didn't for a heart beat. No one will ever be able to tell me that it was "just cells". You will get punched in the fucking mouth. Easy Peasy.
Dr. K told us to wait until we had 3 normal periods and then to try again. Make sure you follow your Dr's advice. That's why they are a fucking OBGYN and you're not. They have your best interest in mind. We followed his orders.
Even with a 3 month break, the emotional damage that I had gone through really outways the physcial pain. I have never been one to be so open about something like this. This blog is my way of healing, coping, and sharing the fact that you are not alone in this.
I'm going cross-eyed at the fact that it's 11:26 pm & I will begin writing again.
However, I want to invite anyone who is dealing with infertility or just their ttc journey in general to find me on facebook or to e-mail me. You can find my facebook at here or email me at jpenneylv@gmail.com
I hope you all contine to enjoy this blog.
Love & Light,
Jes
Just an FYI.... I know I haven't finished exactly where I left off... again as the last post stated; I do have a hard time finishing things & I going to blame it on my self diagnosis of ADD.
In other news... I want to go back to September 22, 2013 where I was having my ectopic. I cannot for the life of me remember whether I explained what an extopic pregnancy is, but for those of you who are just starting this ttc (trying to conceive) journey, I will explain.... In a totally esy way of explaining it, the egg implants into the fallopian tube instead of the uterus. This can be life threatening as the fallopian tube can explode and cause internally bleeding that can be fatal.
I have never in my life felt so empty. I have never in my life wanted to die. I laid in bed for days doing nothing, but crying. I ignored my family, phone calls, co-workers, you name it and I had no part of it. I couldn't have a conversation with Giovanni without yelling at him or just crying. Apparently this amount of hurt and confusion is normal when a couple goes through losing a child.
Let me make one thing clear. We all don't have to have the same beliefs. I do feel as though I lost a CHILD. No one in this entire world will ever be able to tell me that it doesnt count because it was an ectopic pregnancy. No one in this entire world will ever be able to tell me that it wasn't a baby because it didn't for a heart beat. No one will ever be able to tell me that it was "just cells". You will get punched in the fucking mouth. Easy Peasy.
Dr. K told us to wait until we had 3 normal periods and then to try again. Make sure you follow your Dr's advice. That's why they are a fucking OBGYN and you're not. They have your best interest in mind. We followed his orders.
Even with a 3 month break, the emotional damage that I had gone through really outways the physcial pain. I have never been one to be so open about something like this. This blog is my way of healing, coping, and sharing the fact that you are not alone in this.
I'm going cross-eyed at the fact that it's 11:26 pm & I will begin writing again.
However, I want to invite anyone who is dealing with infertility or just their ttc journey in general to find me on facebook or to e-mail me. You can find my facebook at here or email me at jpenneylv@gmail.com
I hope you all contine to enjoy this blog.
Love & Light,
Jes
Comments
Post a Comment