The Unexpectedly Unexpectant Mommy

It's been 10 weeks since my last post and I can't really explain how UNmotivated I have been. I keep telling everyone how I am going to catch everyone up & have even announced "IT'S BLOG DAY!" on Facebook, but still can't seem to get it together enough to sit down and force myself to blog. I recently was on facebook & a friend told me of one of her friends who is going through infertility. Immediately it brought me to why I began this blog. I began this blog to inspire others, to keep faith alive, & know that even if it doesn't happen right this very second that their time is coming.  The last time I wrote I was 11 weeks. 11-16 weeks nothing really happened other than my acne started slowly going away & my appetite came back with a vengeance! I love the fact that my food aversions are almost completely gone. I still get a little queasy when it comes to the smell of meat being cooked, but I no longer have a problem eating it.  I ...

Holy cow!!! So much has happened since my last post. Its not like me to not update at least once a month, but to be honest, things have been quite hectic here in the Cabrera household. How was every one's Thanksgiving? We spent part of our day in LA and the other part in San Diego. Having family less than 2 hours away has been awesome & our support system continue grows a little more every day. Christmas was also spent with family in LA & also at home. We enjoyed being at home with one another. We got to really sit down and talk about how much we appreciated each other. Our relationship & friendship has been growing stronger every day. I didn't think that it could get any better, but day after day, life seems to prove me wrong. New Years was really filled with up and down feelings. We went to Vegas to spend it with family & I quickly got to see how much Wonton does NOT enjoy taking car rides.  We loved being able to spend our times with our nephe...

It seems to me that cancer has surrounded me for a big part of my adult life. I didn't realize it until this week after watching a movie: If you haven't seen this movie..... You need to. It's beautiful, sweet, romantic, and heartbreaking... all at the same time. Two teenagers that still find the beauty in life & love even though they have cancer. After watching this movie, I began to reflect on just this year alone in my life with friends or even meer Facebook pages that I have followed closely. Everywhere I looked, cancer seemed to be staring me in the face.  I know, I know. Everyone keeps saying, "Everything causes cancer nowadays." I have never been more aware until this year. As some of you women (or even men who may follow this blog & are going through this with your partner) may know, a lot of the medications that we put into our bodies in order to conceive can cause us to have a higher risk of cancer. Some of these medications are...

Oh how I wish I could come here today and say that our IUI procedure worked. I kept my hopes up right to the very end, but deep down inside, I just had that feeling that it wouldn't work. I told my mom that I didn't think it worked. I prepared myself for the "what if it didn't work" & I am so grateful that I did. During the time that we were soaking in the fact that our family planning will just be taking a little longer than anticipated, we received news that made us come together even more. Giovanni received a promotion that is relocating us to Temecula, California! Not such awesome news, he had to report out there on the first. We found two days after my birthday that he would need to pack up and head out to be there on the first. 6 days notice. Then again, this has been my husband's dream, so bring it on. I've had to stay here in Vegas to tie up all loose ends and make sure that everything is packed. This is my last week in Vegas and I am s...

This seems to be a lot to cover for one post, but honestly.... It all came to me at once... I like to keep it at a two topic max... but let's face it. I do what I want. For starters.... I was talking to someone about my ttc journey & she said, "Just relax!!" If you are in this ttc with me, then you know there is nothing more annoying than someone telling you to relax. In fact, it's the worst shit-vice (shit + advice) anyone could give you. Really??? I was relaxed for the first year. Statistics show that it takes the average couple 6-12 months to conceive a child. I was relaxed for that 6-12 months. IM NO LONGER RELAXED! So I decided to ask around to some of my groups on what NOT to say to a woman/couple that are ttc. I received some pretty fucking awesome ones... and others... well I had to ask why the FUCK no one punched that asshole in the throat.  Here's some of the top answers that I received: Just stop thinking about it "I hated... I mea...

It's been a while since I have been able to really sit down and make a post. Every time I try, something comes up. Work, Dr Appts, More Work, and just life in general. This particular post is really special. The month of September holds great joy in my life. It also holds great pain. I should be able to wake up on September 22 & hold a 4 month old baby in my arms & be thankful that I made it through another year of life. I should be able to call my Dad and listen to him tell me how I am officially half way to 50. I'm pretty sure my dad will still do this, but I wont be able to celebrate my birthday like I use to.  Instead I get to remember how I woke up that morning feeling a little "off"....  I laid in bed longer than usual & didn't have motivation to even brush my hair. I could hear the sounds of little dachshund nails tap dancing on the tile. Giovanni was clinging pots around, so I knew Burger was tap dancing in hopes that he dropped something d...

October 1st, 2013....Called my artist Waffle and told him to be ready for me at 9 pm. I had something special I wanted done. He knew the situation that I was in and how my heart was completely shattered. This art was perfect for the occasion. October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. There was not a better way to have a memorial for my first little one. I did not think that I would be going through the same thing again in Feb, but it helped me through round two of the nightmare. It is a constant reminder to me that there are two little angels up there watching me. They keep their wings wrapped tightly around Giovanni and I. When I get sad I rub the beautiful angel on my forearm, it's a complete pick me up.  Why the forearm you ask? Think about it. Where do mommys and daddys hold their babies?  This tattoo has become the center of many conversations. Good and Bad. I have had plenty of people give me a hug and tell me that I am strong. I have also had p...