The Unexpectedly Unexpectant Mommy

Oh how I wish I could come here today and say that our IUI procedure worked. I kept my hopes up right to the very end, but deep down inside, I just had that feeling that it wouldn't work. I told my mom that I didn't think it worked. I prepared myself for the "what if it didn't work" & I am so grateful that I did. During the time that we were soaking in the fact that our family planning will just be taking a little longer than anticipated, we received news that made us come together even more. Giovanni received a promotion that is relocating us to Temecula, California! Not such awesome news, he had to report out there on the first. We found two days after my birthday that he would need to pack up and head out to be there on the first. 6 days notice. Then again, this has been my husband's dream, so bring it on. I've had to stay here in Vegas to tie up all loose ends and make sure that everything is packed. This is my last week in Vegas and I am s...

This seems to be a lot to cover for one post, but honestly.... It all came to me at once... I like to keep it at a two topic max... but let's face it. I do what I want. For starters.... I was talking to someone about my ttc journey & she said, "Just relax!!" If you are in this ttc with me, then you know there is nothing more annoying than someone telling you to relax. In fact, it's the worst shit-vice (shit + advice) anyone could give you. Really??? I was relaxed for the first year. Statistics show that it takes the average couple 6-12 months to conceive a child. I was relaxed for that 6-12 months. IM NO LONGER RELAXED! So I decided to ask around to some of my groups on what NOT to say to a woman/couple that are ttc. I received some pretty fucking awesome ones... and others... well I had to ask why the FUCK no one punched that asshole in the throat.  Here's some of the top answers that I received: Just stop thinking about it "I hated... I mea...

It's been a while since I have been able to really sit down and make a post. Every time I try, something comes up. Work, Dr Appts, More Work, and just life in general. This particular post is really special. The month of September holds great joy in my life. It also holds great pain. I should be able to wake up on September 22 & hold a 4 month old baby in my arms & be thankful that I made it through another year of life. I should be able to call my Dad and listen to him tell me how I am officially half way to 50. I'm pretty sure my dad will still do this, but I wont be able to celebrate my birthday like I use to.  Instead I get to remember how I woke up that morning feeling a little "off"....  I laid in bed longer than usual & didn't have motivation to even brush my hair. I could hear the sounds of little dachshund nails tap dancing on the tile. Giovanni was clinging pots around, so I knew Burger was tap dancing in hopes that he dropped something d...

October 1st, 2013....Called my artist Waffle and told him to be ready for me at 9 pm. I had something special I wanted done. He knew the situation that I was in and how my heart was completely shattered. This art was perfect for the occasion. October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. There was not a better way to have a memorial for my first little one. I did not think that I would be going through the same thing again in Feb, but it helped me through round two of the nightmare. It is a constant reminder to me that there are two little angels up there watching me. They keep their wings wrapped tightly around Giovanni and I. When I get sad I rub the beautiful angel on my forearm, it's a complete pick me up.  Why the forearm you ask? Think about it. Where do mommys and daddys hold their babies?  This tattoo has become the center of many conversations. Good and Bad. I have had plenty of people give me a hug and tell me that I am strong. I have also had p...

This post is going to turn this blog around. I don't want pity. I don't want you to think that I am unfortunate. I am fortunate. I am fortunate enough to have a husband that loves me more than life itself and who understands the feelings that I have every day. I am fortunate to have a doctor who believes that I will become a mother.  I am fortunate to have all of you that not only read my blog, but share it too. This is going to be full of positives.. Dont get me wrong... there will be a venting section. Speaking of Positives..... I finally receives a positive (pos) opk last week. If you aren't quite sure what a pos opk is, you can find the definition & how to us it  here . A word to the wise........ Make sure that when you send it to your friend who has been through every up and down with you that you warn her that it's an opk and not a damn pregnancy test. Sorry Kate!! Didn't mean to almost make you go into pre-term labor. Love you!!! So I'm ...

Well.... I haven't written in a while..Sorry!!!! Giovanni and I celebrated our first anniversary on June 29, 2014, so I have had a lot going on with being out of state and then adjusting back to work. Everything went smoothly though & tonight I just took my first dose of Clomid. Just an FYI.... I know I haven't finished exactly where I left off... again as the last post stated; I do have a hard time finishing things & I going to blame it on my self diagnosis of ADD. In celebration of our first anniversary, I'd like to share a picture of my uber handsome husband that I took of him while we were in San Francisco on our honeymoon. Nothing like a sexy Filipino boy to get the engine going....... In other news... I want to go back to September 22, 2013 where I was having my ectopic. I cannot for the life of me remember whether I explained what an extopic pregnancy is, but for those of you who are just starting this ttc (trying to conceive) journey, I will explain...

Now I usually only write a blog a night... but tonight... there's a need for two... I wanted to just kind of update everyone with where I am right now. On Friday, June 13, 2014, I had another HSG. The results came back normal and I have been given a higher dose of Clomid. I have been pregnant twice on this so we shall see how this next couple rounds go. If we are not pregnant by the end of December, Dr. K will refer us to another doctor that he works closely with. We will then start looking at IVF and IUI. Some of you may not recognize the terms IVF and IUI so I will have a short explanation of both.. Most are familiar with IVF. Invitro Fertilization. It's what they like to call a "test tube" baby. They extract semen from the male and eggs from the female. The eggs that are usable, they fertilize with the semen and they decide from there what eggs are able to be inserted into the uterus. We are a candidate for this as this bypasses the traveling through the fall...