The Unexpectedly Unexpectant Mommy

Now I usually only write a blog a night... but tonight... there's a need for two... I wanted to just kind of update everyone with where I am right now. On Friday, June 13, 2014, I had another HSG. The results came back normal and I have been given a higher dose of Clomid. I have been pregnant twice on this so we shall see how this next couple rounds go. If we are not pregnant by the end of December, Dr. K will refer us to another doctor that he works closely with. We will then start looking at IVF and IUI. Some of you may not recognize the terms IVF and IUI so I will have a short explanation of both.. Most are familiar with IVF. Invitro Fertilization. It's what they like to call a "test tube" baby. They extract semen from the male and eggs from the female. The eggs that are usable, they fertilize with the semen and they decide from there what eggs are able to be inserted into the uterus. We are a candidate for this as this bypasses the traveling through the fall...

Now before I start this post I would like to add something that I think is vital to tell.... I have been drinking wine tonight. With that being said, I will not be surprised if there are misspelling of words or run on sentences. I pretty much think all my sentences are basically run on sentences... but Fuck It. I wanted to take pictures every waking fucking second of my life.... I was waiting for that magical little bump to appear.... That photo was taken at 5 weeks. As we all know... No one in their right mind shows at 5 weeks. Many women don't even know they are pregnant at 5 weeks. As an expecting mother, you are looking for people to tell you that you're going to be so cute when you get bigger or you will lose the baby weight as soon as you pop that sucker out.  I didn't get that treatment. It almost felt like it was taboo for me to be pregnant. It was taboo for anyone to talk about it. It sure as hell was a no-no subject for my best friend and I. She said it,...

Taysia took me to my HSG test on August 12, 2013. I had been taking the clomid for the first cycle.  Gio was traveling a lot and I found that when I wasn't at work; I wanted to just be at home. Away from everyone. Just in my best with my dachshund and Netflix streaming on the tv. I started to notice that I couldnt make it through the whole episode of Family Guy. Before I knew it, I wasn't making it through the opening credits of that stupid show. All I wanted to do while Giovanni was traveling was to sleep. I started having weird, vivid, and just super life life dreams. Dreams that you really couldn't tell what was reality and what wasn't.  I have dealt with depression for a while and I found that I'd eat my feelings, throw myself in to my work load, or I absolutely love to sleep. Being that I was by myself and lonely, I chopped up the fact that I was constantly sleeping and exhausted to depression.  It wasn't depression. No, no.... It was something more. I...

Our journey really started rather quickly after we met in June 2011. We were always together and started talking about our lives as a couple. By August 2011 we were living together. I gave up my apartment and my dog Burger tagged along as well. You can always tell when you have a good man if your dog would rather cuddle up next to him instead of you.... especially when you recued her from her little life of hell...We were both going through some troubling times during that part of the year, however, we made it work and really used each other to become greater people. Fast forward a little bit & before you know it we were talking marriage and babies. We always said we would be happy with whatever comes first. I was happy with not being married while trying to have a child. I was ok not being married when our baby was to be born. I wasn't raised that way & I'm pretty sure he wasn't either. My mom & dad use to lecture us kids about doing the right thing by wa...

I'd like to start this post with a little introduction to my blog.... My husband and I were driving home from having dinner with my mom and dad. We began talking about things that I tend to start, but have a hard time finishing. The biggest example he brought up was this damn new blog. He had all these questions as to why I didn't just add on to the blog that I had before. It was a hard thing to explain to a man that really doesn't know much of anything about my past, other than what he has asked about, that I couldn't bare to reopen that blog that held so many dark secrets. There is no way I am able to convert that blog to a free for all after keeping it private to the world. I want this blog to be something that I am able to just let myself go. If I'm having a hard day due to hormones; there's no doubt that there will be other people that are in the same boat as me that aren't going to judge. Not only that, but I just couldn't find a name. You can...